God's Green Gift
by rip-through-my-nameless-seams
Summary: Imagine: Kisame, Itachi, Deidara and Sasori, a bowl the size of Kisame's fist and lots of time on their hands. Rated for DRUG REFERENCES...AHHH!


God's Green Gift

Author's Note: Awrigh', so...my friend, Stoned Fish and I both wrote this, we were really bored...o.O but yeah...um...we were really just like, sitting around and thinking about how that Akatsuki would act like if they were complete and total stoners...lol...ihs beautiful ne? lol...anyway...read and review...flames will be used to spark the pot...so yeh...

High, I'm Kisame, an active member the banished ninjas club, or the Akatsuki. We do stuff. Like steal demons out of people, and be mean.

I walked into this one room in the place that we call "headquarters", but is just a glorified hotel. My best bud, other than the stuff we just got done smoking, Itachi was there, so was Dede and Sasori, I was all like, "hey, come smell this!" So they did, and we decided that it was totally amazing.

Deidara has this amazing bong that we all, lovingly named Zet-chan, cuz it totally looks just like his head. So we loaded our amazing green into the bowl (which, is like the size of my fist) and I got greens, cuz I brought it home.

I about died. I took a monster hit, like I always do, but I couldn't even fuck with this. I coughed for like 10 minutes, and then everyone else was afraid to hit it, cuz I never cough. When I reached back over to hit it again, they all knew that tonight was going to be glorious. I then passed the shit to Itachi.

This is Itachi, right. Yeah, I got Zet-chan next, but I didn't make the same stupid mistake that Kisame made, I took it nice and slow. Then, I did that one trick that totally freaks them out, right, and I let the smoke seep out of my eyes and grinned like a mad man, hooray! "Damn . . . I'm fuckin baked from one hit guys. . ."

So, this is Kisame again, Sasori is too fucked up to right, oh, uh…Write giggle so I'm writing for him. He is sitting on the chair next to the couch, with Dede on his lap. He hit it and immediately got that glazed look like a true stoner gets when the bud is perfect. He giggled madly for about three seconds, then shut up. His eyes closed, then he let out a heavy sigh. Deidara started complaining that he never got that reaction when Sasori hit him in the head with the bong.

'Shut up and hit this.' he said. So, Dede took the bong. His hit was cool as fuck, cuz he hit it with his hand, and 12 seconds later, the smoke came out of his mouth, sending THC through his entire system. He was blown.

"Teeyaheehee. . . wowo, un!" was all he could say. It was freakin hilarious.

It was back to me next. It looked cached, but on further inspection, amazingly, it was still green under the black. It was beautiful. I took the next hit and let the smoke roll out of my gills in curling waves. I realized just then, how comfortable this couch was, and how much I REALLY love Samehada (which, if you didn't know, is my amazing sword.) and back to my evil best friend Zet-chan went.

Itachi again . . . still fucked up and loving it . . . but I wasn't nearly as fucked up as I wanted to be, so I grabbed the bong like it was Hinata. I took the longest hit I could fit in my resin crusted lungs and held it in till I died. Damn . . . now I'm fucked up . . . twice.

Sasori got it again. He took it, went to pass it, decided against it, and took a power-toke. It nearly killed him. He then shot-gunned Dede, who was still sitting there giggling. The smoke did the same thing as before, but curled out of his hands instead. We skipped him, because he didn't need any more.

Back to me. Did you ever realize how pretty my sword is? I just want to sit here and rub her till I fall asleep. She's purdy, all wrapped up n' stuff. I love her so much. Oh. I get to hit again. I'm so fucked up I can barely write, I need to pass this before I die. There's enough for 3 more hits.

Perfect.

Yay! I get to write for Itachi too, this time. He hit again, and his eyes reverted back to their natural color for like 3 seconds, but he says if I tell anyone what that color is, I'll never speak again. He's scary. He passed it to a very tired-looking Sasori.

Sasori took it, and in his lightweightedness, tried to light it with the wrong end of the lighter. That was disturbingly funny. When he actually did hit it, he nearly fell unconscious. Then he passed it to a still giggling Dede-chan, who took it, hit with his mouth, and shot-gunned his own hand. No smoke came out. That was fucking weird.

Then Itachi made the greatest suggestion ever. Taco-Beeeaowl!!!!!!!!! Bye happy people, I'm getting my snack on!



The End

Notes

This story comes straight from stoned-fish's half bakery.

Props to Ita for helping me tell this story of amazing bud!

Props to Dede and Sasori for actually being able to hit without dying.

Props to you for reading our tale.

Props!!!


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